don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
