but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
