I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
