he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
