I'm going to jail i love you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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