try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize