Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
