Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize