I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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