WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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