dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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