Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You need a sexual gate keeper
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize