Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
