Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
