32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
