and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dick very happy bro
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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