Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
