pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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