i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
