There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
