Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
