The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
