I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
