I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
