you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
