I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
