so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
