Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
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You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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