I am puke
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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