somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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