can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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