I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish you could order shots online.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
