i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize