i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
