he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize