Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How external is "for external use only"?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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