So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How's work?
Spinning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
