Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I need a beard to bite.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
