This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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