I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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