We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
