Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
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I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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