I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
More tranny stories later!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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