just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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