He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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