I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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