Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
