I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Your cock deserves a montage
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
