We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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