So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
