we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
