your thong is hanging out like whoa
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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