Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just invented taco cereal.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
