Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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