I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
