just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize