How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I AM VODKA MAN
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
