just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
