Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
