My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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