I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm like, not good at living.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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